aite,this sound effing gay, but wth. i guess, everyone will go through this period of time, sooner or later. this morning i cried, cos my bro went for his NS. i know, it's so gay. shit, man. what was i thinking? but wth, he cried too, when he saw me cry. we din have the best goodbye, because before we went, Dad nearly hit him when he was ignorant and reckless with his stuff. i woke up, and saw him packing his stuff. Bro has always been the last-minute-guy. last minute nak carik birth cert, last minute nak pack bende. so i guess that tipped the humble guy off. so when i saw Dad so pissed with bro, i could see his face changed. i guess in his mind, he was thinking, "God, this wasn't my idea of goodbye". So i locked myself in the room, and cried. I'm gonna miss him. I'm gonna miss his late night calls asking me to hide the keys beside the door so he can enter without making noise and waking Mum up. Gonna miss his guitar strumming to tunes of Dark Globe and David Bowie,his out of tune serenaiding voice, gonna miss the times he ask me for help when he need to go out to light his cigg without making noise, gonna miss his to-hell-with-curfew attitude. the times he'll be sarcastic with me when i piss him off, but he never raises his voice. and those times he pisses mum off,but will make it all up with his fantasy of cupcakes. his drinking habit, and desire of clubbing,the shit he got himself into,his first charge of underage smoking and the number of times Mum gets called in to school because of his truancy rate increasing.and those times i see him during his sec school days, making his pants as tappered as he could, just cos everyone thinks its cool, then getting it torn anyway. Damn,i sure thought it was cracking to do all those things last time. And at night, if i'm hungry,he'll whip out some stuff to chow, be it fried ice-cream or fried mars bar or ironed cheese toast or those magical cupcakes which melts in ur mouth everytime u put it in your mouth. and i'll definitely miss his talent for scoring strikes at every game of bowling he have, and his talent to write a nice love song just by thinking of the werds, or how he managed to cheer me up with his jokes. his on-off obsession for monoploy and for french films. his dream of opening his very own cafe, or to circle thailand's islands for the hidden beach, and how he got me interluded in his lifestyle, by thinking the same way he does. gawd, and when i see does tears roll down his face when he was saying goodbye, i knew he felt the same way too. eventhough it may have taken him 21 years of his life to grow up,to be a man, there's a part of me who wishes he doesn't hafta grow up. who wishes he'll stay to be that brother who always slam me with the ball when we play soccer, or push me so my shoes will end up in mud or i'll hit my shoulder at the wall. and as i sleep tonight, without hearing the buzz of my phone ringing to hear him asking for keys,or to hear his footsteps arnd the house, still awake eventhough it's 5 am, and without the sound of his voice singing Oasis at night,or the sound of his snore. while he's off to train,i'll keep all his brilliant ideas and his weird dreams to be nothing in particular but himself, at heart.Bcos he's someone who has showed me there's more to life than books and curfews and the simple life. that there's always happiness in every crack and corner,be it a burnt lantern, or running away from reality just to be a dreamer. i must say, he may be too laid-back,or what my parents say,just plain lazy,he's the coolest bro i can ever have. eh brudder,i'm gonna miss you man. i'm sure one day, they'll be proud of who you really are, not who you aren't even are. and yeah, happy 21st :D
i'm sorry i created chaos in the house just now
rmbr, dont cause trouble
when i get back, i'll tell you everything
oi,you take care too