very vague.

Today I'm gonna post about something that makes no sense.Again.Heck,who the fuck cares anyway.Today I woke up crying because I had a very scary nightmare.Everyone was slashing me with a surgery knife in a hospital and blood was everywhere.My blood.After that I cried because the period cramps was killing me.My parents took care of me.My mum rubbed my head while saying prayers to make me feel better and I cried because I felt bad.I wanna be their baby.I've sinned too much.It's coming 4 am and everyone is asleep but not me.I stared at the sky just now.It made me remember about the night when I was in Perak with Farah and Janiah for some school trip two years ago.It was a night walk through the forest and we reached the end of the trail and when we stepped out of the bushes,there was this huge and empty field behind a hill.And when I looked up,I saw a beautiful array of stars,staring back at me.I heard silence,it was like an eerie buzz but there was peace.Now I look up,but I feel nothing.No comfort no security.I felt it was just me,stark naked staring back at nothing in particluar.No feeling of connection to the universe.No centre of gravity.Perhaps I've felt too much.Why do I always think about life then feel lost in it?See,I'm doing it again.Thinking.Thinking too hard.Sometimes I feel cheated eventhough nobody is lying to me.I wish I was still a kid.Painting my nails pink and looking up into the sky and feeling happy becuase I felt the sunshine burning through my skin.I feel so aged.Perhaps I should stop all this nonsense.Perhaps I should make a prayer to God before I hit the sack.I've sinned too much.