Okay how shall I start? How about, Happy Birthday Singapore!I'm wrong if I said nothing much happened recently. But how do I start? Okay here goes. I broke down twice during art, had a huge fight with the parents, had a high fever after that, went to KL for a 2 day trip and I had to sit in the car for 6 hours straight, had an anxiety attack during one of my lessons, went to see a counsellor, doctor told me I'm suffering from depression, been in some "daze phase" and I finally laughed on a Friday. All of this happened in a week. I knew I wasn't the person I knew I was. I was slow, overly emotional, hanging on to this mindset that I was in some kind of a lucid dream, cried buckets over nothing, made many people confused and I totally lost track of most situations. It felt like nobody understood me. I guess it was the rush. It was the rush over everything. The last thing I remembered was eating ice-cream with Khai after I broke down over art. And then it was that daze. I was pulled around to places I don't remember going like, Petaling Jaya for instance. It was all a huge big sudden rush and I wasn't prepared so I guess that's what happens when you're not prepared in life. You fall. This time, it hit rock bottom. My sister calls me depressed kid now. Well, through it all, I learnt a lesson. I shouldn't be so weak and give in to this stupid depressed, helpless feeling all of the time. My girlfriends, boyfriend and family were there when I needed them. Like for an instance, my gfs will ask whether I'm ok and give me huge support in school and stuff like that and boyfriend would meet me when he's free and make me laugh and make me smile and my family will be there and reminding me to keep faith in God so I'll get better and so I'll stop crying and FINALLY, I'M OKAY. I'm seriously seriously okay. Except for some time when I stone and then that feeling gonna wrap itself around me again but there'll be people snapping me out of it so I guess that's good. I'm happy to be alive and it feels good to smile and do things I like to do like watching my cats run around or feeling the warmth of sunshine on my face or holding my mum's hand or touching Shadiq's hair or putting my arms around Farah or noticing an awkward moment on some guy's first date or holding my breath when I see a Ducati or lying own on my bro's bed when he's on some holiday or telling my sister she was once a guy when she's being mean to me or watching reruns of Friends and totally dig them and the list goes on and on. I guess I'm going to remember this episode of my life from now on. I just wanna thank everyone who have helped me through. And those who haven't, thank you too. I dunno for what but, I just feel like saying it. It feels so good to be alive. Sigh. It really does.